Generic Evil Henchman


Like Monarch's Henchman from the Venture Brothers?

Yes, or the generic evil SPECTRE henchman from James Bond movies.

Pros:

Can be any sex, race, creed, or religion as long as you're long-winded prior to fulfillment of the assassination, remarkably inept, and/or stupid.

Once you get high enough up in the organization you don't have to wear the generic jumpsuits. Save those for the scientists and the city-destroying rocket/laser technicians.

Due to high turnover rate in upper management, there's lots of room for promotion.

Cons:

The fact you're given a number instead of a nametag should clue you in on your expendibility. At least Star Trek redshirts are known by their names.

No vacation time. Evil plans never rest.

Having to live and work on isolated islands shaped like skulls or in a flying cocoon.

Good benefits, though you're usually dead before the paperwork is filed.

Can't really "give up" when the secret lair is raided by NATO or the British. You're expected to shoot your sub-machine gun erratically and then die dramatically with your arms swinging in the air.

Explaining to your friends and dates why you're working for your evil organization. It, unfortunately, cuts down on a lot of the dating pool that consider themselves to be "moral" and "idealistic."

Your bosses don't take it well when you write tell all books.

The Guild of Calamitous Intent are some bad dudes.

Quotes from the Venture Brothers:

Henchman 21: Here is where you are wrong, my friend. This woman has killed before.
Henchman 24: Allegedly.
Henchman 21: Okay, whatever. But she was a big girl. We are talking about a large, healthy woman of questionable stability.
Henchman 24: Oh, you are totally underestimating the never-say-die scrappiness of a survivor.
The Monarch: Hey, guess what? Nobody cares who would win in a crazy fantasy fist-fight between Anne Frank and Lizzie Borden. We never should have brought the henchmen. We're going to be the only ones there with henchmen!

Henchman 24: Come on! They have one female servicing a large group of males. That implies a species that lays eggs.
Henchman 21: Oh my God, you're crazy! They're so obviously mammals!
Henchman 24: Please! She'd be in estrus 24/7 if she didn't lay eggs.
Henchman 21: Smurfs don't lay eggs! I won't tell you this again! Papa Smurf has a fucking beard! They're mammals!

Henchman 24: We're gonna get our asses kicked. We didn't have a breakfast.

Monarch Henchman Video:

Internet Resources on Becoming an Evil Henchman:

Venture Brothers - IMDB

Venture Brothers - Wikipedia

Venture Bros. - Official Site

Monarch Henchmen - Wikipedia

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