Magician


Like GOB Bluth from Arrested Development?

I've made a huge mistake.

Pros:

If being a magician fails you can always fall back on stripping with the Hot Cops.

People love the chicken dance.

Get to perform to Europe's "The Final Countdown."

Making love to women, while having your record demo playing in the background.

You're the guy in the $5,000 suit.

Cons:

Mexicans don't love the chicken dance.

Being blackballed by The Magicians Alliance. So people know how the Aztec Tomb is done, big deal. Come on!!!

Have to sit through performances of El Amor Prohibido.

Signing away animation rights to Mr. Bananagrabber.

Steve Holt!!!

F*ing Lucille II in order to save the business.

Being one upped by Tony Wonder.

Quotes:

GOB Bluth: Hey, guy. They tell me you're the actor who plays Marta's brother, Tio.
Actor: Como?
GOB Bluth: Oh, you're gonna be in a coma, all right.

GOB Bluth: Steve Holt's not my son.
George Michael Bluth: Steve Holt? What, the moron jock?
GOB Bluth: That's my son, you pothead.

GOB Bluth: He doesn't know what he feels. I'm tired of being told - my God. What is this feeling?
Michael Bluth: You know, the feeling that you're feeling is just what many of us call... a "feeling".
GOB Bluth: It's not like envy, or even hungry.
Michael Bluth: Could it be love?
GOB Bluth: I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it's the opposite - it's like my heart is getting hard.

GOB Bluth: Tell you what we're gonna do: "Rock Paper Scissors" for it.
Michael Bluth: No, no I'm not...
GOB Bluth: One, two, three. Paper covers rock.
Michael Bluth: It is a rock, though. Should beat everything.
GOB Bluth: There's not a lot of logic to it. It's kind of like on a boat with "Women and children first."

Michael Bluth: You know, GOB, you might want to start acting like the President. You're beginning to alienate some of the employees.
GOB Bluth: Yeah, like the CEO has to worry about alienating the employees.
Narrator: In fact, GOB *had* started to alienate some of the employees.
GOB Bluth: [in the break room] The worst that could happen is that I could spill coffee all over this $3,000 suit. Come on.
GOB Bluth: [in the elevator] Yeah, the guy wearing the $4,000 suit is holding the elevator for the guy who doesn't make that in four months. Come on.
GOB Bluth: [in the bathroom] Yeah, like I'm going to take a whiz through this $5,000 suit. Come on.

GOB Bluth: Zero hour, Michael. It's the end of the line. I'm the firstborn. I'm sick of playing second fiddle. I'm always third in line for everything. I'm tired of finishing fourth. Being the fifth wheel. There are six things I'm mad about, and I'm taking over.

GOB Bluth Video:

Internet Resources on Becoming a Magician:

GOB Bluth - Bluth Family

GOB Bluth - OP

GOB Bluth - Wikipedia

Arrested Development - IMDB

GOB Bluth - About

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