-
More Info
Occupations
- Air Force Pilot - Iceman - Top Gun
- Bank Robber - Bodhi - Point Break
- Bond Company Stooge - Life Aquatic
- Bounty Hunter - Boba Fett
- Bounty Hunter - Reno Raines - Renegade
- Boxer - King Hippo - Mike Tyson's Punch Out
- Carbonite - Han Solo - Machine Operator
- Swedish Chef - Muppets
- Crop Circler
- Excitebike Racer
- FBI Agent - Johnny Utah - Point Break
- Male Prostitute - Fred Garvin
- Stratego Spy
- Guantlet - Elf Shot the Food
- Harlem Globetrotter
- Henchman - Dr. Evil - Mustafa
- High School Principal - Ed Rooney - Ferris Bueller
- Ice Pirate
- Kissing Bandit - Morganna
- Lab Assistant - Beaker - Muppet Show
- Lunger - Doc Holliday - Tombstone
- Magician - GOB Bluth - Arrested Development
- Marine Biologist - Seinfeld - George Costanza
- Henchman - Monarch - Venture Brothers
- Moonwalker - Sega - Michael Jackson
- Motivational Speaker - Matt Foley - SNL
- M.U.S.C.L.E. Wrestler
- Olympic Decathlete - John Belushi - SNL
- Private Eye - Rockford Files
- Pro Wrestling Jobber - Iron Mike Sharpe
- Pro Wrestling Referee
- Rebel Hero - Jek Porkins - Star Wars
- Replicant - Blade Runner
- Ridiculous Super Hero - Silver Surfer
- Robot Insurance Spokesman - Old Glory - SNL
- S-Mart Employee
- Scooby Doo Villain
- Slamball Trampoline Basketball Player
- Space Marine - Aliens - PFC Hudson
- GLG20 - Spies Like Us
- Star Trek Redshirt
- Team Zissou Intern - Life Aquatic
- Winter Caretaker - Overlook Hotel - Shining
Notes
- *Probably not your destiny.
- Robot GC is a site of humor and parody. All content is believed to fall under fair use. Contact me if you believe otherwise.
Punch Out Boxer
Like King Hippo from Mike Tyson's Punchout on NES?
Yep, or Piston Honda, or poor, poor Glass Joe.
Pros:
Repeated, catastrophic blows to the head make it less likely you'll remember being beaten by a skinny white kid named Little Mac.
You get to make up fun catch phrases like "I'll give you a TKO from Tokyo."
Between rounds you can ask your corner guy how to not get your cranium caved in and he'll respond with great advice like, "Join the Nintendo fun club today, Mac!"
You can be very openly gay, like Don Flamenco, if that's your cup of tea. Not that there's anything wrong with it.
Mike Tyson knocks you out so quickly he doesn't have time to go for your ear.
Cons:
Nobody ever respects your request to "Watch the jaw!! Don't hit my jaw!" or lays off the sensitive area of your stomach that has a bandaid on it.
Having to fight Mike Tyson.
Not having enough money to join the Nintendo Fun Club.
Quotes:
Glass Joe: This is my last match! I'm too old for fighting!
Glass Joe: Watch the jaw!! Don't hit my jaw!
Von Kaiser: Your punch is soft... just like your heart!
Piston Honda: I'll give you a TKO from Tokyo!
Don Flamenco: People like my hair. Don't mess my hair!
Soda Popinski: Would you like some punch to drink? Ha, ha, ha!
Mr. Sandman: Welcome to dreamland baby!
Internet Resources on Becoming a Punch Out Boxer:
Mike Tyson's Punch Out - Wikipedia
Leonardite's WVBA Mike Tyson's Punch Out Page
Mike Tyson's Punch Out Characters - Wikipedia
Mike Tyson's Punch Out NES Fan Page
Mike Tyson's Punch Out Video:
Share the Site
If you enjoyed the advice, human, please recommend me to others.
Try, Try Again
Not happy with the occupation? Click here to have Robot Guidance Counselor select another for you.