Bond Company Stooge


Like the Bond Company Stooge from Life Aquatic?

Yep, he's an excellent example.

Pros:

That Filipino you learned in school will come in handy, albeit while bartering for your life with pirates.

Casually dropping that you're part of Team Zissou works wonders in the half-hour leading up to last call.

Having access to the special issue Adidas Team Zissou sneakers.

By reaching this point you've evidently gotten over your propensity to fake your own suicide, be seduced by 80 year old women, and plummet your modified Hearse off of a cliff face.

Meeting the late, great Ned "Kingsley" Zissou.

Getting to stay at the Hotel Citroen.

Cons:

You're a bond company stooge, so, naturally, nobody likes you.

You're required by law to notify the bank of any illegal activities. This includes drinking lattes from Hennessey's stolen expresso machine and any consumption of research turtles while in captivity.

Inspirational Quotes by the Bond Company Stooge:

Alistair Hennessey: Is this my espresso machine? How did you get my espresso machine?
Bond Company Stooge: Well... uh... we f*ckin' stole it, man.

Steve Zissou: I hope you're not gonna bust our chops on this on, Bill.
Bond Company Stooge: Why would I do that?
Steve Zissou: Because you're a bond company stooge.
Bond Company Stooge: [Scoffs] I'm also a human being.
Steve Zissou: All right, I take that back. How about a little teamsmanship?
[Steve, Bond Company Stooge, and Kingsley Zissou put their hands in the middle]
Steve Zissou, Bond Company Stooge, and Kingsley Zissou: Ho!

Bond Company Stooge: Captain, I am required by law to notify the bank of any illegal activities.
Steve Zissou: Just do what you gotta do to cover your ass, Bill.

Bond Company Stooge: Bill Ubell here. I'm on a pay phone. I am still blindfolded. My arms are bound. But a young boy has been kind enough to assist me. There's not much chance I'll get another opportunity to call... so I thought I would ask if... what? No.

Internet Resources on Becoming a Bond Company Stooge:

The Life Aquatic - Wikipedia

The Life Aquatic - IMDB

The Life Aquatic - Rotten Tomatoes

Seu Jorge - The Life Aquatic Sessions - Wikipedia

Team Zissou Shirt

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