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Occupations
- Air Force Pilot - Iceman - Top Gun
- Bank Robber - Bodhi - Point Break
- Bond Company Stooge - Life Aquatic
- Bounty Hunter - Boba Fett
- Bounty Hunter - Reno Raines - Renegade
- Boxer - King Hippo - Mike Tyson's Punch Out
- Carbonite - Han Solo - Machine Operator
- Swedish Chef - Muppets
- Crop Circler
- Excitebike Racer
- FBI Agent - Johnny Utah - Point Break
- Male Prostitute - Fred Garvin
- Stratego Spy
- Guantlet - Elf Shot the Food
- Harlem Globetrotter
- Henchman - Dr. Evil - Mustafa
- High School Principal - Ed Rooney - Ferris Bueller
- Ice Pirate
- Kissing Bandit - Morganna
- Lab Assistant - Beaker - Muppet Show
- Lunger - Doc Holliday - Tombstone
- Magician - GOB Bluth - Arrested Development
- Marine Biologist - Seinfeld - George Costanza
- Henchman - Monarch - Venture Brothers
- Moonwalker - Sega - Michael Jackson
- Motivational Speaker - Matt Foley - SNL
- M.U.S.C.L.E. Wrestler
- Olympic Decathlete - John Belushi - SNL
- Private Eye - Rockford Files
- Pro Wrestling Jobber - Iron Mike Sharpe
- Pro Wrestling Referee
- Rebel Hero - Jek Porkins - Star Wars
- Replicant - Blade Runner
- Ridiculous Super Hero - Silver Surfer
- Robot Insurance Spokesman - Old Glory - SNL
- S-Mart Employee
- Scooby Doo Villain
- Slamball Trampoline Basketball Player
- Space Marine - Aliens - PFC Hudson
- GLG20 - Spies Like Us
- Star Trek Redshirt
- Team Zissou Intern - Life Aquatic
- Winter Caretaker - Overlook Hotel - Shining
Notes
- *Probably not your destiny.
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Bond Company Stooge
Like the Bond Company Stooge from Life Aquatic?
Yep, he's an excellent example.
Pros:
That Filipino you learned in school will come in handy, albeit while bartering for your life with pirates.
Casually dropping that you're part of Team Zissou works wonders in the half-hour leading up to last call.
Having access to the special issue Adidas Team Zissou sneakers.
By reaching this point you've evidently gotten over your propensity to fake your own suicide, be seduced by 80 year old women, and plummet your modified Hearse off of a cliff face.
Meeting the late, great Ned "Kingsley" Zissou.
Getting to stay at the Hotel Citroen.
Cons:
You're a bond company stooge, so, naturally, nobody likes you.
You're required by law to notify the bank of any illegal activities. This includes drinking lattes from Hennessey's stolen expresso machine and any consumption of research turtles while in captivity.
Inspirational Quotes by the Bond Company Stooge:
Alistair Hennessey: Is this my espresso machine? How did you get my espresso machine?
Bond Company Stooge: Well... uh... we f*ckin' stole it, man.
Steve Zissou: I hope you're not gonna bust our chops on this on, Bill.
Bond Company Stooge: Why would I do that?
Steve Zissou: Because you're a bond company stooge.
Bond Company Stooge: [Scoffs] I'm also a human being.
Steve Zissou: All right, I take that back. How about a little teamsmanship?
[Steve, Bond Company Stooge, and Kingsley Zissou put their hands in the middle]
Steve Zissou, Bond Company Stooge, and Kingsley Zissou: Ho!
Bond Company Stooge: Captain, I am required by law to notify the bank of any illegal activities.
Steve Zissou: Just do what you gotta do to cover your ass, Bill.
Bond Company Stooge: Bill Ubell here. I'm on a pay phone. I am still blindfolded. My arms are bound. But a young boy has been kind enough to assist me. There's not much chance I'll get another opportunity to call... so I thought I would ask if... what? No.
Internet Resources on Becoming a Bond Company Stooge:
The Life Aquatic - Rotten Tomatoes
Seu Jorge - The Life Aquatic Sessions - Wikipedia
Team Zissou Shirt
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